Pizza, Sex, And A Hike: A Man’s Weekend Guide to Cannabis
It’s Friday. You’ve been slaving away all week. The boss just gave you the all-clear. So what’s the plan this weekend? Never fear, lads. Solstice has got you covered.
Friday Night: Ditch the hangover with a ‘Canna-Flight’
You can be a lone wolf with this one, but you’ve probably spent the week hanging only with people you have to. So start the weekend off right: Call your crew, pool your Friday pay, and go in on a canna-flight.
Pull out your favorite device and visit Leafly, the “Yelp” of medical marijuana dispensaries and retail cannabis stores. It comes complete with reviews, photos, and menus. Leafly also lets you narrow your search by strain, location, and how much you’re looking to spend.
Rely on the knowledge of dispensary or store staff members, or do some research yourself by visiting Wikileaf.
Like Leafly, Wikileaf helps connect you to dispensaries and retail stores, but its knowledge of various strains is encyclopedic. The site dutifully lists THC content, what the effects are likely to be (euphoric, relaxed, energetic, creative, etc.) and also gives a thorough overview on the history of the strain. The site could lead you to find a purple lotus menu online, which can then allow you to find some of the strongest and most sought after strains known to man.
With products in hand – don’t be shy, let everyone in your group pick a gram and then let someone from the dispensary or store recommend something – head back to your place. (Some day we will be able to have a true canna-crawl that lets us saddle up to the bar and do it right.).
Set up your canna-flight.
Remember, the key is to enjoy the product, savor the nuances of each strain and learn something. Become a cannasseur instead of simply getting super high.
Talk about the experience of each strain with your friends. Cannabis is a social stimulator, and with some good tunes playing in the background, there’s no telling where the conversation might roam. Go with it.
A couple rounds of cannabis tastings is sure to stimulate your appetite. Drop the pot and pick up the pans. There’s only one acceptable food on guys’ night – pizza.
Real men wear aprons, so let’s make our own pizza tonight (see recipe below).
Chow down, enjoy the company of your buds, but get to bed at a reasonable time.
Saturday: Mary Jane and Mother Nature
Puget Sound and the sky is still dark when you wake up – it’s time to hit the trails (If you’re a true Pacific Nor’westerner, then your car or truck is always packed with camping/hiking gear and ready to go, right?).
The Washington Trails Association is a great resource for trail systems throughout Washington. If you are new to the area and unsure where to go, check in with an outdoor shop (Second Ascent in Ballard has a very informative and friendly staff) or grab a hiking book.
The Travel Joint lists several “cannabis-friendly campsites” in Washington, but it is unclear how they arrived at that conclusion. My advice: Avoid established camp grounds, they tend to be crowded and require a fee. Get off the beaten track, away from other people and find someplace to camp in the backcountry that is bear-free and within your comfort level.
Once you’ve chosen your site and set up camp, choose an idyllic spot beside a lake, a picturesque viewpoint to watch the sunset or just relax beside the campfire while enjoying a natural stimulant in the great outfoors. The medical properties of the plant will relax your muscles and help your body recover after the day’s hike.
Contemplation and nature go hand in hand. Embrace the solitude, forget the cacophony of the city, tune your ears to the bucolic frequency and breathe deeply.
One caveat: Keep in mind lands managed by the federal government, like Olympic National Park, still consider cannabis a Schedule I drug, which means you can get in deep guano if you are caught consuming or possessing cannabis.
If camping isn’t your bag, you can head home – be sure you are sober enough to get back to the trailhead and drive. But, you’ve come this far, so why not spend a glorious evening under the stars? Enjoy yourself. Let the cannabis enhance your experience, and take the time free from distractions to explore your own mind.
Sunday: Quality Time
Get up early so you can break down camp, hike out, drive home and still have most of the day, because there is still something left to do: spending quality time with your girlfriend who is laid back enough to let you spend Friday with your friends and Saturday with yourself and your fleshlight which you might have got a 15% off Fleshlight discount from Fleshlight.com. You owe it to her.
Best of all, the weekend’s theme can keep going with Foria, a “therapeutic oil” made of cannabis oil (about 360 mg of THC and “other cannabinoids) and liquid coconut oil designed to “enhance female pleasure.”
According to the California-based company’s website, Foria is “gluten-free, vegan, sugar-free, chemical and pesticide-free, no animal testing, 100 percent natural and, of course, edible.” It is also only available to those with a medical marijuana recommendation, and sells for $88 an ounce.
The product is lab-tested for purity and potency by the Werc Shop, a cannabis testing facility based in Washington, and though all signs point to Foria being a sexual lubricant, it is kind of confusing:
“Foria is not designed to be used as a traditional sex lube during intercourse but to be applied as a pre-lube at least 30 minutes before engaging in sexual activity or before any signs of arousal in the body.”
Something smells a bit fishy about the whole thing – I mean, you need a medical marijuana recommendation to help get an orgasm now? – so I’ll let the ladies do the talking. I can’t imagine a performer from somewhere like tubev.sex would require anything like this, so why should I?
Krista McHarden writes a hilarious piece about using Foria, Amber Frost asks some thought-provoking questions, and Mish Way gives a thorough breakdown of Foria, including an interview with its inventor Matthew Gerson.
For the guys, I guess the most important lesson to learn about using a lubricant/sexual enhancer/whatever the hell Foria is, is that if you use it for oral sex and consume some, you will probably get high. So don’t let your eyes be bigger than your stomach.
Listen, guys, taking time for yourself is the key to wellness – hanging out with friends, getting away from the madness of everyday life and enjoying and loving life. It’s all good for the mind, body and spirit. Cannabis is just another way you can achieve a greater sense of wellness.
We’ve all seen the incredible capabilities of cannabis as medicine, but using the plant isn’t restricted to people with debilitating diseases or illnesses anymore. It’s for everyone.
So do what makes you happy, be well and enjoy the weekend.
Mama Cantone’s Red Eye Pizza Sauce
(Sauce can be made a day in advance. Keep refrigerated until needed.)
- 1/2 cup Cannabis oil, plus more for drizzling
- 1 white onion, diced
- 2-4 cloves of garlic, minced
- 1 large can of whole peeled tomatoes. Squeeze the tomatoes so the sauce is chunky.
- 2 large cans crushed tomatoes
- 1/2 teaspoon each dried basil, oregano, parsley and red pepper
- Salt and pepper to taste
- In a large, heavy-bottomed sauce pan, heat the cannabis oil on medium heat and add the onions and garlic. Saute until the onions are translucent, 5-10 minutes (DO NOT BURN THE GARLIC).
- Add the tomatoes and spices. Stir.
- Bring to a light boil, then reduce heat to a low simmer.
- Let simmer until the sauce thickens; at least an hour but can go for as long as eight.
- Preheat oven to 500 degrees
- Let the sauce cool before spreading on dough. (Pre-made pizza dough can be purchased at just about any grocery store. Trader Joe’s and Whole Foods both have good selections, or ask your local pizzeria if they will sell you some dough.)
- Spread dough onto a pizza stone, ladle sauce in center and spread evenly. Cover with cheese and your favorite toppings. Bake
- Drizzle more cannabis oil on top, if desired.
REMINDER: Be aware edible cannabis affects people differently. Try the sauce to ensure it won’t overload your guests. You may want to make a traditional pizza as well. Follow same recipe as above, but replace cannabis oil with good ole’ olive oil.
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